Fine on my own!

She was made of colours

Bursting into flames,

Like the clouds crashing

Into the mountains;

But this was never

Only about her;

It was always about

Something bigger than

Her or even you!

She looked around, and

found herself alone;

But when she looked inside,

Everything she needed,

Was right there.


Dream 1: Self-Dependent

Walking together, crossing the bridge,

Her mind content, her mind at peace;

She looked at her, the one who gave her life;

And she knew everything was all right.

Walking, walking, they reached a

muddy path; suddenly,

her Maa ran, ran so fast that

her raw screams didn’t even make it.

Was this a test? Alone and abandoned,

she realized: She needed to be:


Awakening, Musings

Manipulations on my Mind

I wanted to do journalism because I believed (well, still believe) that it is one of the most powerful tools of changing the world.

The sad truth is that it is just another way of advertising. Most of our news these days is about terrorism, celebrities, sports, rich people and blah blah blah. I don’t care how rich someone is or what celebrities are doing or who is winning what.

But the importance of such crazy mass-following has become ingrained in 99.9% of all people- especially our generation.

Everything around us influences us in subtle ways, but the impression is permanent. All of this fan-following turns us into nothing more than sheep. The more followers the better. And please, just because you got followers on facebook or instagram does not make you a leader; you are simply selling yourselves (which I guess in a way makes you a prosititute).

Yes yes, I know it is easy to hate. But tell me, will your celebrities or sportspersons or rich people save the planet? You might know everything about all the “successful” people you follow (read: STALK) but do you know that back-to-back hurricanes have been battering the Caribbean? Do you know it is because the ocean waters’ temperature is above average? Do you know this is happening because of climate change? Do you care?

This is our Dark Age. You might think you know about alot of things and so much information is at your fingertips, but really, how much of that information is actually of any use?

I know me saying these things will make no difference; I am just another voice of those 0.01% who are shouting in vain to awaken you.

Go ahead and watch that match or that show you can not miss or live without. Until then, let’s hope the planet will figure out how to save itself.

Leo Murasaki Out.


Yes, you.

On the bathroom floor, he laid,

His throat slit, blood everywhere;

Temple of Knowledge tainted.

First, they came for the women,

Now, it is the children.

Did you gain anything from your lust?

Lust for a seven-year-old boy?

Was he wearing something revealing,

Or did he give you a sign?

Was it his smile that provoked you?

It is not our children, women or even men who need to change;

It is you who needs to change.

Yes, you.

Awakening, Musings

Removing the Wires

Have we been wired (or re-wired) into running away from differences?

Whether it is making friends or finding your soulmate, why is there always so much emphasis on finding similarities? Yes, I know there are sayings such as  “opposites attract” and whatever, but think about it.

When we are kids and we are put into schools, we are taught how to think, what to like, what is right and what is wrong etc., which brings a certain uniformity among all of us. As our school life continues and we become teenagers, the more we stand out from others, the more ostracized we are. The cool kids are the ones who are getting laid, getting drunk, who know everything there is to know about all the hot and happening celebrities. Those who are super smart and studious get the distinction of being nerds and then there are the jocks and cheerleaders.

Then there are a few people who do not fit into any of those categories and they just have a very different outlook than others around them. These are the ones who are left alone, seen as suspicious and just down-right WEIRD.

We are taught into sticking with the people who are the most like us, whether it’s our friend circle or life partner. That is sad, to be honest. The more we hang out with people who are different from us, who have different viewpoints and opinions and actually think on a deeper level about things that matter, IT IS US WHO ARE BENEFITED THE MOST.

So much of the hate that is being generated in the world and spreading at an obnoxious level is because we have become prejudiced, bigoted and narrow-minded. We find it easier to just believe whatever it is that the media and the governments tell us, instead of finding out the truth for ourselves.

When we were babies, we had such curiosity about everything! If someone told us something was hot, we didn’t listen! We went and touched it and got burnt and then we believed it.

I am not saying become paranoid and be skeptical about every single thing on the planet. All this hate that is consuming our planet, is it benefiting anyone? Can you look at your children without feeling a shred of pain for the children dying everyday in conflict-ridden places on this very planet that we all share?

No religion ever taught hatred. No color is evil. No race is superior.

WE ARE HOMO SAPIENS. Each and every one of us. Everything else is just labels. And please, labels are soooo high school.

Remove the wires that have been constructed by society; open your heart and understand your fellow human beings.

Love is what the planet needs. Love is what will bring peace. No war can ever give us what we need.

Breathe in love, Breathe out love.

I see you my fellow human beings. I am here for you. We all are here for you.



Today I woke up and broke into tears.

I have never really given much effort towards anything in life, so now that I am tirelessly pursuing a goal and not feeling that I am getting any closer is, well, a new feeling. I am having trouble coping with these new emotions. I am OVER-WORKED.

I have decided to give myself the day off; to recuperate and gather my strength so that I can once again strive purposefully and effortlessly to reach my goal.

The one thing that this new side of life has shown me is how lonely the journey to the top can be. The struggle is just too personal to be shared with those around you and yet too profound not to be shared with the world.

It has been ages since I have posted, but everything going inside my head right now needed an outlet; an outlet, which had the possibility of reaching those who needed it and silent understanding for those who should pass by it.

My head is hurting; I feel weak and it is taking all my strength not to break into tears again. This is how I know I have been working too hard without listening to either my mind or body.

Today is all about doing whatever brings relaxation! I hope it will help! Somewhere in the back of my mind, I know this is precious time being wasted but I know if I continue over-working myself there will be a point where I simply will not be capable of pursuing my goal.

I’ll let you know if a day’s break works!





This is for all those people who have been always misunderstood; to the people who have constantly build themselves up, only to be kicked to the ground each time they managed to stand up and dream again; to the people, who constantly try to keep their fire alive.

I have given up; given up on life, love, dreams, hope and a better time. There comes a time when you just have to fuss it up and admit defeat. I am the kind of person who you could hurt a million times but I would still be there for you, because I believe that people can change. Everyone has goodness in them, they just need someone to believe in them, to help them see it and find it and to hold onto it for eternity. I still believe that. I no longer believe that for me anymore though.

I have given in to being the villain, to being the bad person, to being the person who just does not care anymore about anything. I have become numb and the deafening silence has become home. I need to stop believing that things can change, that people can change, that if you try your hardest and give it your best, what you want to happen will happen. Because it doesn’t and it won’t.

This is my journey into the darkness, because the light is just not reliable. It comes and goes, but darkness, now that is something that always stays with you no matter what. Why are we always trying so hard to fight the darkness off? Why do we think darkness is such a bad thing? I have come to realize it is absolute bliss. You don’t feel anything, you have no expectations, no dreams, no hopes, hence no worries. Could there be anything more wonderful than that really?

I am tired of trying to make people understand the reasons behind my actions, the silent intentions of good will. Hate is an easier thing than love. Love, that needs effort – lots of efforts. Hate is so simple and easy. Just hate everything and everyone. I am tired of the light, the love and all the efforts it requires. I know that whoever is reading this probably thinks that I am a lazy bitch. You may think whatever you want; I no longer give a fuck.

Solitude is easy. Living in a world in your head is easy. Going through life and being unaffected by everything that is happening around you is easy. I get so worked up about climate change, mass extinction, genocide and war in the Middle East, the religions being divided, but what for, really? How can mere little me change anything in the world, when I cannot even get what I want? What a silly little hypocrite I am.

I am so shattered and battered right now, I can’t even feel the pain from the bruises I have inflicted upon myself. I am tired of doing things and wishing others well in silence. What is the use of being a good person or praying for others or trying to make people see the truth? Why should I be bothered? Why do I need to look to others to become better, wiser, happier people?

I am done. I give up. I surrender. I admit defeat.

Now shoot me and take me out of my misery.